Feelings In Narration Essay

The spelling of metonymy to use in your own writing the paragraph finishes with two really powerful metaphors so the figure on its own within its black boots is a scuff mark on the white snow and that’s a lovely image we get the idea of how dirty the platform is even though it looks beautiful in a pristine white snow and then this other metaphor the snow that drowns the platform gives us the idea that the snow is not welcome really sophisticated writing there are a couple of issues that you want to play around with here so at is redundant so once more and either the platform is more natural sounding so we’ll get rid of that and then the word order of this is a bit problematic still alone his isolated figure his black coat and boots were a scuff mark well we’ve got a problem here is that we’ve got a scuff mark which is being formed by the figure and his black coat and his black boots. Find out more about how to make your reader feel onĀ Edusson.

And so plural with the singular which doesn’t work and then this is a mixed metaphor because you can’t have a scuff mark on snow that’s like see that’s drowning so we need to rearrange that so it’s simpler to rearrange it like this still alone his isolated figure floated in the white snow that drowns the platform so I’ve introduced the word the verb floated because it fits with the idea of drowning then I put in its entirety in red here because we can delete it we don’t need that because the metaphor of drowning the platform already shows us that the platform is completely covered that’s what drownings like and therefore this is telling us and we don’t need to be told because we’ve already been shown and that’s the beauty of metaphor and then we have his black coat and boots a scuff mark and that becomes a new metaphor which is not entirely connected to the drowning okay.

Here’s the next paragraph and I want to show you the importance of contrast and juxtaposition the curious sensation of knowing that you’re completely and utterly alone enveloped him but rather than inducing feeling feelings of unsettlement and shivers no he had the cold to thank for that it was almost comforting almost next I want you to have a look at this technique of contrast again so he’s almost completely and utterly alone or he is completely and utterly alone and that is contrasted to him feeling almost comforted by that it’s a very unusual way of describing someone’s feelings here a better word would have been unease rather than unsettlement which is a made-up word and then finishing the paragraph with this curtailed sentence without a verb in it is quite a good technique especially if you mimic it in a later paragraph the shriek of the train arriving was a knife blade to his thoughts and he raised his gaze but it was as he thought the opposite platform the direction that would take him back to the place that caused a hard ball of lead to form in the pit of his stomach he would not be going back there.